Send me messages if you want to talk :)
Feel free to send me submissions.
you know what constantly blew my mind as a child
in movies when a character is looking straight into their reflection in a mirror
how does the camera not show up in the mirror
actually never mind about the whole “as a child” business i still haven’t figured this shit out
I do this several times a day
I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms
how can lawyers argue without crying
if i went into a courtroom i’d be all
now you fucking listen here you little cumslut
"he has been found guilty”
"HA IN YOUR FUCKING FACES, BITCHES."
i wish i had my own apartment so i could make food at two in the morning and dance around in my underwear
funny how once you get your own apartment this is actually exactly what happens
And then you cry over the responsibility of living on your own.
the clock strikes midnight. all americans begin to morph into their true form.